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19 “hilarious” Christmas cracker jokes

A Christmas isn’t complete with the comedy genius of a simple cracker joke. So, we’re rounded 19 of the best (or should that be worst) Christmas jokes.
As always scroll down to the bottom to see what prize is behind the door today!

19.Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

(source www.christmas-treasures.com)

(source www.christmas-treasures.com)


18.Knock knock!

Who’s there?
Hanna
Hanna who?
Hanna partridge in a pear tree!

 

17.What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

(source www.purple-heart.com)

(source www.purple-heart.com)

16.What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps

15.Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
Because they are always dropping their needles!

(source theq.com)

(source theq.com)

14. What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper.

13.What’s the most popular Christmas wine?
‘I don’t like Brussels sprouts!’

(source  www.foodrepublic.com)

(source www.foodrepublic.com)

 

12.Which country has the largest appetite?
       Hungary

11.How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle.

(source www.sonisphere.co.uk)

(source www.sonisphere.co.uk)

 

 

10.What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
He got 25 days!

9. What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to the ‘elf farm!

(source cottoncharmquilts.typepad.com)

(source cottoncharmquilts.typepad.com)

8. How does Good King Weceslas like his Pizza?
Deep pan, crisp and even

7. Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
Because they were two deer.

(source rebloggy.com)

(source rebloggy.com)

6.Why is it getting hard to buy an advent calendar?
Because there days are numbered!

5. Two Snowman in a field, one says to the other..
‘Can you smell carrots?’

(source ecards.co.uk)

(source ecards.co.uk)

 

4. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!

3. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy!

(source kissmekwick.co.uk)

(source kissmekwick.co.uk)

2. What did the inflatable teacher at the inflatable school say to the inflatable child caught holding a pin?
You let me down, you let your friends down, you let your school down but most of all… you let yourself down.

1. What is the best Christmas present?
A broken drum – you can’t beat it!

(source telegraph.co.uk)

(source telegraph.co.uk)

 

 

Have these tickled your funny bone or should we just stick to our day jobs? Let us know in the comments below!

Plus we’re giving away a make your own cracker set so you can show us how it’s done!
Jump on over to our Facebook page to enter – good luck!

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